Moksha
by cherryvvoid
Summary: Discover mortal bliss and attain immortal ease; that's what it takes to die for good. She never thought dying could be easier than living until now. SI-OC-as-Tsunade's-daughter. Co-written with GaleSynch!
1. Moksha

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Senju Tsunade promised herself one look—that was all she was going to indulge him. The female Sannin didn't need the lights to maneuver around. She had lived in this apartment with Katō Dan for years ever since they'd gone steady, but that had stopped after his death.

Almost immediately, she had moved out to live in her grandmother's old apartment that the woman lived in before returning to Uzushiogakure. Perhaps Uzumaki Mito had also found that large house she once shared with her family was too lonely for her to handle.

Tsunade had sold off the Senju property to pay her earlier debts. As far as she was concerned, the Senju Compound now served as a dojo for samurai-wannabes.

But one place she was unwilling to sell to her debt collectors was this place: Dan's home. This wasn't their preferred house but it had been vast enough to allow three to four people to live comfortably. Her dreams for their life had once included children that she would admit but as she padded silently through the living room to the place where Dan and her had once shared a bed, she couldn't bear to envision something as perfect as the kids the two of them could have created.

Tsunade, glancing around the cluttered room with a familiar feeling of nostalgia, took in the books and scrolls crowding nearly every visible space. Everything in sight whispered words of Dan as Tsunade recalled those days where she could spend hours fondly watching her lover devour those written texts as if they were substance.

Running a finger down the side of an overflowing wooden shelf, she smiled as she remembered that she had brought it for him to keep his clothes in. But of course Dan never did anything that was expected of him, so instead he filled it with novels of all genre and kept his clothes in sealing scrolls. When she had asked him why he hadn't done the reverse and placed his books where he did his apparel, his answer had only been a raised brow, a slow smile, and an indulgent 'priorities'.

Her lips quirked into a downtrodden smile as she shook the memories away and moved further into the room.

In times of war, they rarely had leisurely time to themselves so there were many untouched books that Dan hadn't even the chance to crack open before death stole everything from him.

She flipped the switch on—the lights flooded the room and the recollections, formerly enshrouded by the uncertain darkness, assaulted her. Talks of the future, of him becoming Hokage, of her establishing her dream to have competent medics groomed and taught for every budding team, ofchildren.

Tsunade ended up staying longer than she meant to, marveling over rusty, sepia-colored memories she thought had been lost to despair but she had found them in this room.

And in those moments that was when she stumbled upon something _extraordinary_.

Dan's plans, his diary, his theories and experiments in his own thoughts—then again, Dan himself was simply amazing, so she shouldn't have expected anything less.

Her fingers trembled in surprise as she flipped the pages and when it finally came time for her to leave she took his journal with her.

As she crossed the living room to reach the exit once more, she glanced back at the dust-covered sofa. For the first time in years, she thought she could hear the sound of a child's laughter welcoming her back but this time not as a the product of pure imagination as it once was.

 _And Tsunade smiled._

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 **Cherryvvoid: Hello this is cherryvvoid and this is the story me and GaleSynch are collaborating on. I hope you guys enjoy it! ^ &^ Check out my new story Asimenios! And check out GaleSynch!**

 **And now a word from the other author!**

 **GaleSynch: I think the next chapter will be longer lol, so don't be bothered by the length of this prologue. :D**

 **R &R**


	2. Dharma

**POV: Shibara**

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She remembered nearly everything; she remembered –

– the bright artificial lights that leapt off the silvery ball that hung up in the pub, the cajoling voices of the people she called her friends –

– the nausea stirring in her chest, the aching dizziness, how she can _barely_ see straight and yet the keys to her car were _oh so easily_ pressed into the palm of her hand –

– she remembered the ride home. She remembered the drive that never brought her to her destination –

– there was a car and she easily remembered it, that tiny red buick that turned the corner. Just like she could recall the feel of the brake pedal falling clumsily beneath her foot as the glass cracked and shattered, showering those sharp shards into her eyes and—

She _screamed_.

Eyes scrunched shut of their own accord, a reflexive response to the memory so chillingly real, that it felt as if she were going through it again. Her now chubby, tiny fists flew up to shield her face and a painful cry tore from her developing voice-box. Her infant body – not her body, not _hers_ – quivered from the aftershocks of a nightmare no infant should ever have and she _screamed_.

And soon enough, the sound of hurried footsteps neared as her "mother" pitched low and gentle coos and strong arms hefted her out of the bed.

"Shh," The woman soothed as tears were wiped from her - too small - face. "Kaa-chan's here for you, Hibashira."

A rush of warmth drifted through her body as she was brought back to her senses and slowly she could feel her eyelids pry themselves open. Staring up at the light that shone down on her room – not on a pub – she felt reality sinking deep into her bones, grounding her to where she was now. Cradled in the hold of the busty blonde woman, a shudder rippled through her tiny being as she tried to decipher which one was more horrifying; reliving her death or being breast fed.

But still despite the distraction the sensation of glass puncturing her eyes still coiled within her gut and her eyes itched in fear of the phantom pain. She squeezed them shut against the light and curled into the warmth the mother of this vessel offered.

As time went by she found herself growing used to this body, to the mother, to her apparent cousin, and lastly to her new name.

Hibashira.

It was Japanese. She vaguely recognized the language since some of her family members who lived with her in the states had spoken it but she had majored in Chinese instead. But now she was regretting her decision because how could a language that wasn't even _spoken_ here, benefit her at all?

 _Daughter of a woman and a dead man._

Hibashira, as it was, only understood a few words. Those of which were 'war' and 'soldier' and 'home' and despite her singular knowledge she had heard enough. She had enough information to puzzle through the fact that her father was dead long before she was even born.

 _Reincarnated soul._

She could recall every minute of her death. How, in her drunken state, she had collided with another person's car. Her gut wrenched sickeningly as she realized that there had to be someone else in that vehicle: someone she might've killed, injured severely, or rendered a vegetable. All because she wanted to try out how it felt to be _drunk_ – all because she wanted to know how well she could hold her _liquor_.

Thinking about what her carelessness and stupidity had caused brought renewed tears to her eyes.

 _How would her family deal?_

 _ **How would the family of the person she might have killed, deal?**_

Hibashira – did she even _want_ to be the person she once was? As a murderer by _accident_? – had survived but she wished she hadn't: for the rest of her life, she would never be able forget this.

For the rest of her life, shards of sharp cold-edged glass would always be sinking into her eyes in fond memory of what she had done.

* * *

In the name of self-preservation, Hibashira tried to tone down the nightmares by spending every waking moment consciously willing it away. No infants had such violent nightmares and the last thing she needed was for her new family to think something was off and do something about it. Exorcism, maybe for she had heard stories about things like that – and it sounded extremely painful.

But ah yes, _pain_.

Hibashira had a phobia towards that particular feeling now. She first figured it out when she was nine months old when even the lightest of injuries caused heart ache. It had been a slight tumble as she attempted walking for the umpteenth time in this clumsy body and though it had been her knees that bore the brunt of the fall, her eyes stung – glass shredding through the cells of her pupils – as if she'd poked _them_ instead.

Hibashira was extremely conscious of what could cause her pain. She avoided it. Every step she took was measured. Falls were unavoidable so she took precarious care of herself. The dark irony coating her thoughts – her new mother wouldn't ever have to worry about Hibashira being careless – made her painfully aware of how much death had changed her.

Hibashira had always been curious and that trait seemed to have been ruthlessly culled.

Being reincarnated was like sampling death. Here was the conclusion: she didn't like what she'd tasted.

She wished she could spit it all out.

* * *

 _Tsunade was worried._

Burnt gold eyes watched as the tiny body of her daughter convulsed with the force of the errant chakra blooming inside her body and she gritted her teeth. Everything had been fine for nearly a year when suddenly this seizure happened and her chest suddenly hollowed out.

 _Tsunade was worried._

Despite the frayed state of her nerves her hands never once shook as she held her glowing palms over Hibashira. Iryo chakra poured from her fingertips as she desperately tried to find out what was _wrong_ and how she could _save_ her.

 _Tsunade was worried._

A strangled gasp stole its way from her throat as the abruptly painful feeling of her _\- her's and Dan's! -_ daughter's chakra system shutting down travelled through her arms to her heart and Tsunade saw black.

 _ **Tsunade Senju was terrified out of her damn mind because her child had just died.**_

She had no idea if sending a full fledged chakra shock into her tiny daughter's network was a good idea but she had done it anyway. She would _not_ be losing this child, she would _not_ have another person she loved die before her if it was the last thing she would _ever_ do.

The sound of blood rushing to her ears drowned out everything. The sound of her own tears and Shizune's frightened cries but when the sobs of her precious - _so very precious_ \- child drifted into the air Tsunade could hear them easily.

Tsunade was worried and she probably always would be, but right now all she could register was relief.

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 **Chapter written by GaleSynch.**

 **Cherryvvoid: Jsyk there are two ppl in Hibashira's body. The person she hit and herself. Respectively GaleSynch's character will be called Hibara and my character will be called Shira.**


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